Monday, September 26, 2011


Fantasies in kindergarten were an obvious part of educational curriculum where we build our own world with the dearth of knowledge. Movies played a major role in directing our imaginations. Sometimes we presume they were real until we found the truth.

It was my first day in class one. Our miss (teacher is referred as miss in most of the schools) congratulated us for getting promoted to the next level of life (I still got no idea what was the next level she mentioned). Later she asked every one to introduce themselves to the class, to tell their ambition and reason. Everybody started introducing themselves. All girls said their life ambition is to become a Doctor and guys as Engineer. Later it was my turn. I had a bad idea that all Engineers would finally involve in constructing houses (after watching the movie Anjali) and I hate that. “Doctor” I shouted with a big smile. Suddenly the class burst in laughter because we thought doctor was a profession of feminism and Engineering was a cool guy’s profession. After ensconcing the clamor our teacher encouraged me with ‘GOOD KEEP IT UP’. I felt grateful to her for becoming an engineer finally and to work with Excel sheets (construction would have been much better)

Well that’s not what I meant to tell.

Every one will have their own imaginations in kindergarten and I am sharing what was my mentality after watching each movie.

Starting from

1. Jagan mogini – every banyan tree is a ghost’s guest house.

2. Nalla neram -- animals are genius than mankind

3. Pati solla thattathey—when cars can fly why not wright brothers?

4. Aladdin--I started rubbing every lamp in my home

5. Jurassic park-- every mosquito is capable of giving birth to a dinosaur

6. Guna—u love, u die

7. Captain vyom—My class teacher gave a wrong idea that aliens were Pakistan terrorists

8. Shakthiman—owner of Parle G

9. Varumaiyin niram sivapu—if u study you will become a barber

10. Swat cats—where can I get a craft to blast my school???

11. Rhythm—Never travel in a train

12. Kuruthi punal—Never travel in school bus

13. Gentleman—I will never become a doctor

14. Captain prabhakaran—watte family, watte man!!!

15. Sengottai—India is my country all Indians are my brothers and sisters

16. Popeye—I started scolding every shopkeeper for not having spinach

17. Anjali—Engineers should never go for a third child

And finally

18. Rape scenes—I was confused why the volcano should erupt,  why the tiger should catch its prey at this time, how come the rising tides freezes ???

PS: pics for your reference

Disclaimer:  any correlation with living or dead is strictly intentional and highly provocative.

Monday, September 19, 2011

The OniOn nOOdle

I was using my mobile torch…searching…. searching…. until I saw a feeble light, which was my own reflection in dark pupils. There was a sense of gratitude and wrath flaunts in its eyes. I can never escape as it was a perfect stalemate. I am done!!!...,

This blog is about my hungry friend (name not to be mentioned) who was trying it really hard to pamper his arduous appetite in the middle of night. For obvious reasons let you read this through his eyes.

My friend is referred as ‘I’ and his friend is referred as ‘him’ (definitely not me)

I: Dai machi I feel really hungry da.

Him: let’s try with bachelor’s recipe. Noodles!

I: It won’t taste nice da. Some kinda ingredient should be added to make it taste better. We need onion.

Him: but we don have it. Where can we get onion in this time??

I: Maybe we should search for it.

We were travelling in the middle of night with no idea!!!

I: Perseverance and confidence is still am nourished with.

Him: Poda vengayam

I: exactly

Him: WT... (in a state of bewilderment)

Fortunately the bread omlet valaas near IITM helped me at that juncture. Those bread omlet valaas had their under cover operations with shutter's closed to avoid unnecessary highway patrol bribing. I parked my bike nearby considering it safe and went under the shutter.

I and ‘him’ in cloud nine went through a short calculation with limited money we had and ordered few bread omlets.

After 15 minutes of waylay and 10 minutes of melee with bread...,

I: But still I have a ravenous tummy...

Him: COFFEE? I think a coffee can suffice our mental and gluttonous appetite.

We started riding in search of a coffee shop.

I: gotcha!!!

Next 10 minutes flashed with 2 rounds of coffee with few rounds of burping.

I: Machi still am not satiated.

Him: WAT??

I: I think we need some onion...

Him: (baffled with a big) WT..???

I didn’t listen to the rest rather I had my tires screeching...

.. Until we crossed a grocery shop.

Him: now WT... (this time with steep acclivity), it is closed. U expect them to wait with onions and confetti’s???

I: its time for adventure

Him: WT…

Before he gave a hoot I was half way through the compound walls. I was not trying to open its lock, but I was looking for some onion sack left unused. I was using my mobile torch…searching,,…. searching….until I saw a feeble light, which was my own reflection in dark pupils. There was a sense of gratitude and wrath flaunts in its eyes. I can never escape as it was a perfect stalemate. I am done!!!...,

The owner had his dogs left to guard the place. I was totally stupefied without a slightest idea of how to escape. Perfectly helpless I decided to call ‘him’, but I don wanna hear another WT... Running won’t be a better option though being a cross country gold medallist as the compound walls were so high that it can give the dogs ample time to taste my back. I don’t wanna let that happen.

I had to get the dogs distracted. HOW?

I started to flicker my light in a direction away from me.


The dogs got distracted and it ran away lest the dogs were not genius. Back to life I decided to leave the place immediately. When I was about to run I hit myself with an old sack. It’s the onion. I got onion alas!!, like Siva had his last peg in VA quarter cutting.

I took onions enough  to cook a family pack noodles climbed over the wall, started the engine and in another half and hour I got my noodles ready to eat.

PS: the secret ingredient of my secret ingredient noodle is ........ONION. This time I heard him claiming WaTe noodles.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011


and I started riding my bike early in the morning while it was drizzling, towards Chennai. I was thrilled by the darkness and silence. It was disgusting to get skin irritation by the mild acid rain while I crossed Thirumalai chemical factory. The famous MBT (Madras Bangalore trunk road) is the most critical highways with high traffic of trucks screeching with industrious goods. I was doused with rain lancing into the wind enjoying the chillness, with a sigh of relief from muggy weather of previous days. Suddenly my engine started knocking. DAMN!!! I forgot to refill my tank. Petrol bunk is not too far but still there won’t be anyone to fuel it. Especially at 5:00 AM it’s really hard to find a bunk functioning. As I prejudiced the bunk was abandoned and I tried my level best to wake them up. It was hard to reach their souls from limbo of hangover.

I decided to stroll for another 2 kms though it started to rain heavily and i was left with no other option. The early morning riders gave me a weird look. “Petrol illa” I exclaimed in reflex with no idea why I said so. I didn’t get any reply either.

When I reached the highway i saw four trailors parked along their left side blocking almost half of the road. A sardhaji came out of the trailor approaching me. Thought I could offer him some help as a quid pro quo so that he may offer me some sorta ‘petrol help’. He showed me some invoices of raw materials. I was hardly reading, BHEL was the purchaser written on it. “it is my company” I got no idea how to explain him in Hindi. Somehow I managed him to explain that his destination is 2 kms away. As I was explaining him the beeline I saw a heavy duty Indane tanker raging along the side of parked trailors. He was cornered to travel along his right side (the wrong side) of the road for the next 10 seconds as the lengths of four trailors were so significant. As the vehicle was nearing I wondered how the visibility of the upcoming vehicle is so ostentatiously limpid in the dark. Generally upcoming highway vehicles will dare to bleak our vision with blaring high beam lights. Apparently I heard another screeching tires and engine melancholies in Doppler Effect that shrilled my ears. It was another truck loaded with my company’s finished goods travelling on the other side. The moment I began to realize it’s this truck responsible for the clear vision of tanker and Doppler effects few questions started streaming in my mind of how will he go? Cross the other truck?

My reflex was so slow that before it could converge to a solution that it’s gonna happen, it happened!!!

to be continued...,..